Frequently Asked Questions

The word coexist can be defined as "living in peace with each other".  

The prefix co- evokes a sense of connection, a balance of power, shared responsibility, and working together collaboratively for mutual benefit.

The root word exist is used as an attempt to highlight the following:

• we are coexist as members of different interpersonal systems, 

• the entire system benefits from members actively participating in their systems, sharing an equitable load of the work that is required to improve and maintain healthy system functioning, 

• the members of any system benefit from being acknowledged and appreciated for their diverse perspectives and unique contributions, 

• all members inherently want to be involved in decision making and problem solving that affects them,

• members thrive when they have their interests/needs respected and considered to the same extent as any other member in the system, 

• members sometimes have a negative impact on the other members of a system--the entire system benefits when members acknowledge this and take responsibility for any harm they have caused and the negative consequences that result, and work to make repairs and prevent future harm, 

• members benefit from working with each other to address and neutralize all safety issues in effort to prevent harm to themselves and others in the system

• a healthy functioning system supports healthy functioning members and visa-versa.  

Balancing power and responsibilities, recognizing and eliminating abusive patterns, and improving individual and overall functioning are challenging tasks for any system and most require help in doing so.  The name of this program is actually a request for help: COEXISTUS.  

We are all part of multiple systems of people.  Examples of interpersonal systems include:

• Our family of origin--our parent(s), siblings and other family members who lived with us when we were young.

• Our current family--our partner/spouse, our children, and other family members who live with us now.

• Our child's family system--their parents even if divorced/separated, extended family on both sides, and others in more supportive roles like neighbors, child care providers, teachers, coaches, therapists, etc.  

• Our household--roommates, flatmates or others with whom we cohabitate.

• Our work setting--our employer, supervisor, colleagues/peers, employees, and others who work with us.

• Our personal support system--our extended family, friends, neighbors, counselors/coaches, religious advisors, etc.

These systems contain different individuals who play their own unique roles in that system. 

Dysfunction negatively impacts every member of the system.  Examples of dysfunction include:

• Use of abusive behaviors--verbal abuse (name calling, screaming, put-downs, etc.), emotional abuse (demonstrations of extreme emotions like blowing up or melting down, dismissing emotions in self/others, etc.), physical abuse (hitting, pushing, restraining, etc.), sexual abuse (inappropriate or unwanted sexual contact), psychological abuse (power imbalances, abuse of privilege, poor interpersonal boundaries, lack of consideration for others or impact on others, aligning with others at another's expense, etc.), and coercive control (use of control tactics to achieve advantage over another, taking over another's responsibilities, undermining another's autonomy, etc.).  

• Skill deficits--lack of skills in life management, household management, interpersonal communication, personal problem solving, interpersonal conflict resolution, parenting of children/teens/young adults, etc.  

• Basic needs go unacknowledged/unmet--working against rather than with each other to meet the core needs of everyone in the system.  

A high functioning system is one where each member is equally regarded and valued for their diverse perspectives and unique contributions. Members work with each other not against each other to solve problems and resolve conflicts in a way that is mutually beneficial and builds trust.  It is not even considered an option to harm each other or to meet one's needs at another's expense.  In the case where one member inadvertently harms another, it is acknowledged and members work to repair the situation and prevent future harm.  Members of high functioning systems face hardships together, strengthening their bonds and fostering resilience. They practice self care and prioritize each other's well-being promoting a nurturing environment that fosters optimal development for everyone in the system.

All potential clients who initiate contact with COEXISTUS and complete the Service Inquiry form on the website will receive a free 15 minute private initial phone call which serves as a brief screen to determine if a COEXISTUS service may be helpful at this time.  If there are others whom you're hoping will participate with you in services with COEXISTUS, then we will also schedule a free 15 minute private initial phone call with them.  If potential clients want to engage in services, then I send them a New Client Paperwork Packet.  Once that is returned we schedule a New Client Session for each party separately and potentially a combined session for couples, families, roommates, and parent-child dyads if appropriate.  

After the New Client Session(s) a Service Proposal is generated outlining a proposed course of action along with an estimated cost for services for each party.  Parties review the Service Plan, negotiate terms as needed, and decide which services, if any, they agree to participate in.  Once we settle on an acceptable Service Proposal, it becomes the Service Plan.  The Service Plan can evolve as needed with specific terms updated or modified in writing, by client consent, in collaboration with the program, and formally revisited, reviewed and updated every 90 days.  

The Service Plan will outline the specific services and related costs for each specific client.  

The following fees are listed to give clients an idea of what they can expect to see in the Service Plan. 

Counseling Services

Individual Counseling, Couples Counseling, and Family Counseling: $150/50 minute session.

Health Insurance for counseling is not accepted at this time.  Medicaid/OHP is in process but not set up at this time.  A Superbill (receipt for counseling services) can be provided for clients to submit a claim to their own insurance company to attempt to be reimbursed for out-of-network, non-participating provider benefits (if any are available in the specific member's health plan). 

CPT Codes are the codes that insurance companies require for insurance claims / Superbills. They are listed below next to services that are sometimes covered by insurance companies.

• New Client Session / Intake Assessment for 50 minutes: $150/session (CPT Code 90791)

• Individual Counseling Appointment for 30 minutes: $90/session (CPT Code 90832)

• Individual Counseling Appointment for 45 minutes: $135/session (CPT Code 90834)

• Individual Counseling Appointment for 50 minutes: $150/session (CPT Code 90837)

• Family/Couples/Parent-Child Dyad Counseling for 50 minutes: $150/session (CPT Code 90847 or 90846 w/out Identified Client Present)

• Multi-Family Group Therapy for 60 minutes: $50/Family—1-2 parents and 1 or more children present/session (CPT Code 90849)

• Group Therapy for 60 minutes: $40/session (CPT Code 90853)

• A Walk and Talk Session of Solution Focused Therapy for current clients may available to be scheduled by either an individual, a Parent-Child dyad, or a Couple for $150/50 minute session.  

Coaching Services

• Collaborative Divorce Coaching and Co-Parent Communication Coaching are available at $120/50 minute session.  

• Coaching with Individuals, Roommates, Couples, Co-Parents, Parents, Parent-Child Dyads, and Families is $80/50 minute session. 

  • New Client Session / Intake Assessment for 50 minutes: $80/session (CPT Code 0591T)

  • Individual Coaching Appointment for 30 minutes: $48/session (CPT Code 0592T)

  • Individual Coaching Appointment for 45 minutes: $72/session (CPT Code 0592T)

  • Individual Coaching Appointment for 50 minutes: $80/session (CPT Code 0592T)

  • Roommates/Family/Couples and Parent-Child Dyads for 50 minutes: $80/session (CPT Code 0593T)

• Multi-Family Group Counseling for 60 minutes: $40/Family—1-2 parents and 1 or more children present/session (CPT Code 0593T)

• Group Coaching is $30/60 minute session (CPT Code 0593T)

• Drop-in coaching sessions may be available for current clients to be scheduled in addition to the client's regular services, on a first come first serve basis, during drop-in hours scheduled multiple times throughout the week.  $25/15 minute session. 

• Co-Working sessions are free for all current clients.

Facilitation

• Facilitation Services (to accomplish a task or to prevent problems) for Roommates, Couples, Co-Parents, Parents, Parent-Child Dyads, Families, and Groups at $100/hou

  • Family Meetings

  • Co-Parent Business Meetings

  • Facilitated Parenting Plan Creation

  • Facilitated Potential Modifications/Updates to Existing Parenting Plans

  • Roommate/Housemate Facilitated Agreements

  • Restorative Circles

• Brief Focused Assessments and Early Neutral Parenting Plan Creation is $150/hour

• Collaborative Divorce Facilitation is $200/hour.

Mediation

• Mediation (to address a conflict or problem) for Roommates, Couples, Co-Parents, Parents, Parent-Child Dyads, Families and Groups at $150/hour.

  • Traditional Mediation

  • Transformative Mediation

  • Roommate/Housemate Mediation

  • Family Mediation

  • Child's Family System Mediation

  • Parenting Plan Mediation

  • Mediation for Potential Modifications/Updates to Existing Parenting Plans

  • Collaborative Divorce Mediation
    

Co-Parent Coordination

• Co-Parent Coordination is $200/hour.
  

The Protector Program: Sliding Fee Scale Available. Ask me about this program!

A client receiving services in one area may also receive some concurrent coaching services and educational classes for free by virtue of being an active client in good standing (as detailed in the Client's Service Plan).

Educational Classes that are offered in conjunction with other services (listed in the client's Service Plan) are included in the price of counseling or coaching sessions.  Stand alone educational classes are offered at different rates for each class and posted on the course website prior to enrolling.

Multiple Session Packages are available offering discounted per session fees.

Note that a typical session consists of 60 minutes divided into 50 minutes of direct client contact and roughly 10 minutes of client administration and the 30 minute sessions consist of 25 minutes of direct client contact and 5 minutes of administration.  A typical mediation or facilitation session is scheduled for 2 hours where 110 minutes is direct client contact and 10 minutes is reserved at the end for client administration.  

Individuals are responsible for the fees for individual sessions. Group members are responsible for their group fees.  For all sessions except group sessions, when more than one person is present at a session, the fee is split equally among participants, unless determined otherwise by mutual consent confirmed in writing.

Clients needing to cancel or change an appointment are required to provide twenty-four hours notice. The client will be charged a $20 no show or late cancel fee if at least 24 hours notice was not provided.

I bill $60/hour (prorated) for administrative tasks that you may require such as report writing for court, attendance at meetings, responding to extensive emails, or engaging in extensive phone consultations which you have requested or initiated that go beyond the scope of what was included in your Service Plan.  I will provide notice when a request is considered above and beyond scope of services outlined in the Service Plan so there are no surprises regarding billing for such services.

If you are involved in a court case and you would like these services to satisfy court requirements, you must notify me ahead of time so we can confirm that our services will be acceptable by the referring party.

If you anticipate becoming involved in a court case, I recommend that we discuss this fully before you choose to involve me in any way. If your case requires my participation, you will be expected to pay for my professional time required to prepare and participate, even if another party compels me to testify.  My fee for participating in court cases is $400/hour with a $3,000 retainer collected up front.

Coexistus LLC reserves the right to update or modify this service/fee structure as needed.  Fees quoted in an active Service Plan cannot be modified by the program prior to the 90 day review except by mutual consent (client and provider), confirmed in writing.

I do not accept insurance at this time.  For Counseling Services, I am are able to provide you with a Super Bill that you may submit to your insurance company to see if they will cover the service provided.  

Client current needs and concerns will determine a unique course of action for each client.  We use the Initial Client Phone Call and the Private Phone Consultation to create a Service Proposal which outlines a course of action specifying which services could be conducted, who would be involved, a projected timeline, and estimated expenses.  We use the Service Proposal and the foundation for negotiating with clients on what they consider to be the best course of action.  The Service Proposal becomes a Service Plan once it is approved by everyone who is participating.  The Service Plan is meant to be a living document that will evolve through collaboration and mutual consent and can be terminated at any time for any reason.  

Many services can be combined, for example, a client may complete an educational class concurrently (at the same time) as they participate in counseling.  Services may also occur consecutively (one after the other) as when a client participates in a parenting plan facilitation which is followed by a formal mediation.  There are some services that we may determine are best conducted by another provider and often times, a client is already receiving individual counseling with another provider so they do not need to obtain that service here.  Some services will not be combined.  The Service Plan outlines the service or services that will be provided.  

Since all of us are part of one or more interpersonal systems (i.e. current family, family of origin, extended family, workmates, roommates, religious community, social groups, etc.) our services will involve one or more other people from those systems as appropriate to the extent it is safe/possible to do so.  When a challenge or transition impacts more than one person, it is often more helpful and effective to work with others who are involved at some level, rather than to just work with one person.  

Involving other members of your family system is a given for the services of Facilitation, Mediation and Parent Coordination in order for those services to occur.  For Counseling, Education, and Coaching, we work with the party who initiated services to determine which other people will be invited to be part of this process--who will be involved, how and when they will be involved, and to what extent.  

Participation in our services is completely voluntary.  Clients engage in activities at their own level of comfort and can withdraw their consent to participate in a specific service or end their status as a client of COEXISTUS at any time for any reason by notifying the program in writing. 

The terms of any current no contact order take priority over all agreements and are at the foundation of all services provided.  If you are a party listed on a current no contact order, you will be expected to share that document with the program prior to participating in any services with others.    

When there has been a history of abuse in the family system, we utilize the most conservative mode of communication, because historical abuse tends to have a lasting impact on others and continues to have an ongoing influence on relationship dynamics.  An example would be if a co-parent was requesting a mediation with the other co-parent and one wanted the meeting to be held in person while the other did not want to see or speak with the other directly, we would host the more conservative format--not forcing one party to more contact than they are comfortable with.  

I will not allow clients to abuse myself or others.  I will not provide an avenue for further abuse to occur between clients.  I will not subject myself to harm by being exposed to abusive dynamics.

I will not allow clients to abuse myself or others.  I will not provide an avenue for further abuse to occur between clients.  I will not subject myself to harm by being exposed to abusive dynamics.

Abuse behaviors can be a very subtle and unique to a specific relationship, and therefore, they might not be immediately evident to others.  We need to increase awareness of abusive dynamics in all their forms no matter how "minor" or "justified" they may seem to be for one or both parties.  Calling attention to them is essential to interrupting abusive patterns and learning to relate differently with others.  I will do my best to identify and interrupt abusive dynamics, but I need you to play an active role and let me know when slights and microaggressions that are unique or common to your relationship occur. 

If a participant chooses to engage in abusive behavior during a service, it is at my discretion whether or not to utilize an intervention intended to establish and reinforce safety or to end the session.  I reserve the right to cancel or end services for a client who is unreceptive to feedback and continues to utilize abusive ways of interacting with others. 

People often choose to go to counseling to improve their mental health and their overall level of functioning, to improve the quality of their relationship with someone whom they care about, or to gain assistance with a current life transition or significant challenge.  

Parents often choose to participate in counseling for the following reasons.  

• They want to process and build awareness of how their own experiences in their family of origin continue to impact, often negatively, their current relationships, especially with their own children.  

• Many parents want to do counseling sessions with their partner or the other parent so they can reconcile with their cultural differences and unique learning histories to hopefully get more on the same page as to how to parent in general or how they plan to approach a challenging situation.  

• Parents often want to do counseling with one or more of their children/teens in effort to improve the overall quality of their relationship.  

• Parents who are going through an amicable divorce or participating in a Collaborative Divorce may want to participate in Co-Parent Counseling to reconcile with the reality of the situation, prepare themselves for negotiations, and to set groundwork for a healthy co-parenting relationship moving forward.  These parents may want their children to participate in counseling as well in effort to make the transition go as well as possible.  

Co-Parents often choose to participate in counseling for the following reasons.  

• They want to do counseling sessions with their co-parent to help resolve hard feelings about how their relationship ended so that they can feel more comfortable co-parenting.

• One co-parent may want to do counseling with a child who is being hostile and acting out, who demonstrating alignment with one parent against or at the expense of the other parent, or who has been ignoring them at events or activities, or who has been resisting or refusing contact in any way (spending time together / going to the new house / being around parent's new partner / talking with them on the phone / etc.).   

Protectors often choose to participate in counseling for the following reasons.

• They see the need to reduce and eventually eliminate using abusive behaviors with those closest to them, and they would like some help in doing that.  

• Someone has told them that they need to go to counseling in order to reduce and eventually eliminate their use of abusive behaviors.  

WHAT ISSUES ARE BEST ADDRESSED THROUGH COUNSELING?

• We help people recognize unproductive and dysfunctional interpersonal patterns, see how they contribute to them, and help them work with others, not against them, to set up more productive and functional processes that build stability, safety, and security for everyone involved.  

• We assist people with major life transitions like divorce, career changes, or getting sober.  We assist both men and women with their own unique challenges, concerns, and life transitions.  

• We assist with mood disorders and challenges emotional states like anxiety, depression, and anger.  We teach emotional regulation skills to increase self management and improve relationships.  We assist with grief and loss following major life transitions.

• We assist with impulse control disorders, ADHD, and executive functioning deficits.  

• We help with parenting challenges, parent-teen dynamics, family systems functioning, and co-parenting struggles.

• We assist with behavioral issues, emotional challenges, power imbalances, control dynamics, abuse prevention and violence intervention.  

• We assist with entrenched challenges like personality disorders, addiction, and criminal activity.

• We help people heal from historical/intergenerational/current relational or event related trauma and work to prevent experiencing/creating further trauma for themselves and others.

• We assist with all types of relational, intercultural, interpersonal challenges.  We help with attachment ruptures, disconnection, and isolation.  

• We're LGBTQ+ friendly.  We value diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging.  

Coaching services are available for individuals, couples, roommates, parents, co-parents, and families who want ongoing support with a life transition, current challenge or conflict, communication, accountability, wellness, parenting, co-parenting, abuse prevention, family system dynamics, increasing stability, achieving a specific goal, setting up a new co-parenting arrangement, implementing a parenting plan, carrying out a new agreement or new course of action, etc. 

Clients who choose to participate in coaching include people who want help implementing new learning or achieving a specific goal.  Others may be going through a significant life transition and want assistance with setting up a new normal.  Being an accountability buddy is often one of the most appreciated aspects of coaching.   

An example might be... a mother who has recently gone through a divorce may need some assistance with revitalizing a career that has been on hold for the past 10 years, building a self care routine, and setting up her own household all while continuing to focus on raising the kids and her daily life. 

Coaching is for basically anyone who could use a neutral person to talk through options and gain a fresh perspective while receiving support and accountability in moving towards their goals.  

Many people participate in these classes at the urging of someone else.  Unfortunately, it is rare for someone to have the insight and awareness to recognize that they could benefit from taking one or more of these classes.  We call those insightful individuals "self-referred" clients--no one told them they had to participate in a class, they decided to do so for themselves.  Most clients could be called "mandated" clients--someone... their partner, their teen, their parent, a judge, or a probation officer said that they had to take a class.

The reality is that all of us could use any of these classes, especially the Abuse Intervention/Prevention class.  Everyone around us, including our kids want us to take that class!  

Participants who have completed our classes say that they wish they had taken a class like that earlier.  Maybe then they'd still be married, still have that job... essentially that they learned something they realized could have helped them avoid some hardship.  Many have said that they had the opportunity to learn this information in high school, that it would be incorporated into the traditional school system so that everyone could learn it proactively.   

Facilitation assists clients with accomplishing a specific task.  

Most clients ask for a facilitation when they want someone else to take the lead in a crucial discussion, to keep things on task when trying to accomplish something, and to provide an element of accountability when tasks need to be completed.  Some people just feel more comfortable having a neutral third party present for these important conversations.  Sometimes people unfortunately want to hire someone who will take their side, promote their proposals, or force other people to what they want--this is not facilitation.  Facilitators do not take sides on issues, make decisions for participants, advocate on behalf of one of the issues or provide legal advice.

Co-parents may choose to do facilitation to create or modify their parenting plans because they can more thoroughly explore the issues involved, they can involve other people in the development of or final review of their agreements, and they will have a full parenting plan or most of a parenting plan at the conclusion of the process.  In mediation, parents will only receive a list of agreements or if parents are in full agreement, only then will parents receive a parenting plan.   

Co-parents typically utilize a facilitated brief focused assessment to work out any aspect of their co-parenting arrangement that remains unsettled (i.e. parenting time schedule, legal custody, etc.).  Parents typically utilize this type of facilitation to address specific problems in the family system like addictions, role imbalances, options for college, etc.  Co-parents who want to modify their parenting plan may choose to do a facilitated brief focused assessment in order to do a more thorough evaluation of the situation in the hope of coming to agreement on the matter on their own.  

Co-parents who have not started creating a parenting plan may want to do the facilitated early neutral parenting arrangement evaluation so that they can have a neutral professional create a comprehensive parenting plan to use as a start for negotiations.  It's like a mini custody or parenting plan evaluation conducted ahead of time by the parents for the parents.  Co-parents who already have a parenting plan but have yet to submit it to the court may want to do the early neutral parenting arrangement evaluation prior to formalizing it with the court so it can be reviewed by a neutral professional who will assist parents in doing a thorough examination of each section, gather information to help them make more informed decisions, and ultimately create a more useful and comprehensive parenting plan.  

Restorative circles are helpful for bringing transparency, accountability, and healing to a family system so they can learn from what has happened, make sense of it, assimilate it into a collective narrative that preserves the integrity of everyone involved, and move forward in a more healthy, constructive way.  

Mediation helps clients work out a specific conflict.

Basic Mediations are best for parties who have done some work ahead of time and are relatively knowledgeable of the issues involved, and either have a neutral to good working relationship with the other party or parties are both committed to a parallel relationship where there are few if any communications or interactions between the parties and those contacts that do occur are highly structured and limited either by mutual consent or by a formalized order from the court, law enforcement or other authority.    

A Transformative Mediation is typically utilized by people who have ongoing connections with each other and they recognize the value in neutralizing negative regard for each other so they can better work together both now and in the future.  

A Parenting Plan Mediation is utilized by separating/divorcing parents who would like to come to some agreements to improve the situation and prevent future problems.  It is also utilized by parents who are not separated or divorced but getting along and living in the same household and they want to get their shared vision, values, and objectives for their child/ren in writing in hope of preventing hardship for either parent down the road.  

Often a parent files a for a modification but they haven't really had a discussion with the other parent about their concerns and proposed changes.  Many times a parent wants a specific change in the parenting plan and they are so set on that course of action that they want the other parent to be forced to comply by someone in an authority position.  It is not assumed that the parenting plan will be modified or that it is a given that one parent's suggestion is any better than other options.  A mediator again is a neutral third party who will not align with one parent against the other parent and a mediator does not have any authority to force anybody to do anything.  A mediation for potentially modifying a parenting plan helps parents to reframe their positions as proposals allowing parents to benefit from their shared wisdom and experiences for their child's best interests.  

Many times roommates/cohabitants/flatmates enter their new living situation very optimistically thinking everything is going to work out great and nothing bad will happen.  But without concrete agreements, in writing, so many things can go wrong with no recourse.  This service uses mediation as an intervention attempting to improve their experience living together, and prevent future problems that almost inevitably arise when people share living space.  

Parents of teenagers or young adults who still live together and are frustrated with how it is going often choose to participate in mediation in effort to work together to improve the situation and prevent future problems.  

Mediation occurs when both parties acknowledge there is a conflict that they need assistance with resolving, it is not an ongoing service.  

The format of the mediation depends upon the level of hostility between parties.  Parties that demonstrate a low level of hostility for each other typically participate in meetings where they have direct contact with each other.  Parties that demonstrate a great deal of hostility towards each other typically participate in a shuttle style mediation where they do not have direct contact with each other.  If there is a current restraining order that prohibits direct contact but allows parents to participate in court ordered services, then parties participate in a shuttle style mediation (where the mediator works with parents individually during the same session).  If there has been a history of abuse in the relationship, mediation will most likely occur via shuttle style.  We always go with the more conservative format--we never force parties to engage in more contact than they are comfortable with.  Sometimes the format changes throughout a mediation as both parties gain comfort with each other and increased confidence in their ability to work things out.  

If parents are just starting the process of creating a parenting plan, they are encouraged to participate in Parenting Plan Facilitation first and then to mediate on disputed items if necessary.  

Parents may benefit from participating in Parent Coordination services if they are experiencing any of the following issues:

• significant, ongoing or unaddressed safety issues 

• frequent parent confrontations in the presence or vicinity of the children

• ongoing issues with a parent not following the parenting plan

• a child is resisting or refusing contact with a parent for any reason

• one or both parents overly preoccupied with the other parent

• one parent attempts to align with others in the child's community (child care providers, extended family, teachers, religious community members, neighbors, etc.) against or at the expense of their co-parent

• a parental relationship that is frequently competitive, judgmental, retaliatory, exclusionary, etc.  

• one or both parents talk badly about the other parent to the child

• significant/ongoing/pervasive parental hostility

• parents are engaged in frequent court filings

• other--any other reason that parents could benefit from a neutral third party having some involvement in their co-parenting.