Typical Clients

When we are no longer able to change a situation... 

we are challenged to change ourselves.

- Victor Frankl

People who enroll in services with COEXISTUS are typically experiencing a great deal of frustration, disappointment, etc. with one or more relationships in their interpersonal system or with their own ability to handle challenges constructively.  Often clients are going through a major life transition and they need some help getting through it and setting up a new normal.  Most everyone I work with recognizes that they want to reduce and eventually eliminate dysfunctional patterns and abusive behaviors in order to provide more stability, safety, and security for themselves and those they care about.  

Our most common clients are Parents, Co-Parents, Protectors, and...  Roommates.  


The World's Most Important Job  

I work with a lot of parents.  I see you.  I get it.  I'm a parent too.  I'm here to help you with the ongoing challenges of parenting.  

Parenting is the most difficult, dynamic, and critically important job that we will ever have as humans.  Despite our best intentions, we often find ourselves ill prepared due to too few positive role models and little if any intentional instruction in the skills that would lead to establishing and maintaining a high functioning family system.  We're not born with these skills, and they certainly don't magically manifest at the birth of a child.  This lack of preparation has long term health implications for everyone involved, especially for our children, who are particularly vulnerable, bearing the brunt of our inevitable deficiencies and shortcomings.  

In addition to trying to do the impossible for our kids, we're faced with the task of somehow dealing with our own life transitions and challenges, which can be incredibly significant, all while attempting to manage each day as best we can.  It's a daunting task, and we parents need all the help we can get. 


The World's Most Difficult Job

I work with a lot of parents who are also co-parents--divorced or separated parents who are tasked with sharing the raising of their minor children between their two households.  Every co-parenting dynamic is different.  Services for co-parents can be tailored to account for each parent's level of functioning, safety considerations, and the unique needs of their child/ren.

Some of the most common Co-Parenting challenges include:  

I help co-parents address and neutralize safety issues while improving the level of functioning of each parent and the co-parenting system as a whole for the benefit of everyone involved, especially the children and the child's support system (their child care providers, extended family, friends, religious community, neighbors, teachers, coaches, health care providers, etc.).


The World's Most Honorable Job

A Protector is someone who protects others and things from harm, injury or damage.  A Protector's main responsibility is to protect themselves and others in the systems they live in from being abused in any way. 

I work with people who have come to recognize the negative impact abuse has played in their own lives and in their various interpersonal systems.  These clients realize there is repair work and healing that needs to occur.  They see the value of preventing future harm to themselves and others.  Rather than just promising things will be different and they will do better, they actually put in the effort to attend services that help them to build awareness and skills necessary to interrupt patterns of abusive behaviors at home, at work, and out in the community.   

The presence of abusive behaviors is the primary indicator of personal dysfunction which inevitably breaks down interpersonal systems creating further debilitation and dysfunction for everyone involved.  It's a cyclical process that needs intentional interruption through interventions designed to improve individual and systemic functioning.  

If we want to be a healthy presence in our families and the other interpersonal systems we are a part of, we must embark on the difficult task of identifying all use of abusive behaviors and working to eliminate abuse in the interpersonal systems in which we live and work.  We can find healthier ways of getting our needs met, by working with others instead of against them, as allies not adversaries.  We can create processes and arrangements that work for everyone involved.  And we must become Protectors.  This is where COEXISTUS comes in.  You're not alone, I'm here to help.  


The World's Most Overlooked Job

Have you ever had a "bad roommate"?  Most people have.  Some still are!

When people move in together, they think naively that everything will be great, nothing bad will happen, and if it does, everything will workout fine.  Too often though, it's a recipe for disaster due to everyone's different expectations, standards, and interpersonal skills among other things.  Often a living situation gets so bad that people avoid going there, or worse, the police are called due to a domestic disturbance.  Some people are actually so traumatized by their dysfunctional living situations that it can take awhile, if ever, to recover.  

When I say roommates, I'm talking about more than just people sharing a room, so housemates, flatmates, cohabitants, household members, unmarried partners... basically anyone who lives with anybody else!

Married couples and families as well are often extremely frustrated with how things are going at home.  

Common frustrations expressed by past clients include but are not limited to:

I help people recognize unproductive and dysfunctional interpersonal patterns, how they contribute to them, how they can interrupt them, and how they can set up more productive and functional processes in their family or other interpersonal system so they can better meet the needs of everyone involved.

Our parents, and the generations before them, did the best they could with the skills, information, and resources they had available to them at the time.  

Humility breeds humanity...

with humility we gain the wisdom and the support of our shared humanity.   

All of us are highly influenced by what we experienced in our family of origin, for better or for worse.  Much information is passed down automatically through the generations with little awareness of the impact this has on how we treat ourselves and others.  As adults we can intentionally make more informed decisions about how we live our lives, how we care for and impact others, and the quality of the legacy we inevitably leave behind.  

I'm here to provide you with healing, skills, information, resources and support.

All of the services offered are especially designed to provide parents with essential services that help them raise the level of functioning of their family system so it can better support family members with their inevitable challenges and life transitions. 

A family system grows and evolves in response to life's challenges and transitions.  The hope is that the children have more people who love and support them through life's challenges... and that they have more resources, not less as a result of significant life transitions.  

This family system is an example of a multi-generational system with many different parts.  They appear to have weathered the inevitable storms, at least to the extent that they could get together long enough to create this family photo!  

Would you like to schedule an individual, 

free 20 minute initial consultation

Great!  Click the "Contact COEXISTUS" button below.  It will take you to the Contact COEXISTUS page on this website and fill out the Service Inquiry form.  This tells me why you're seeking services at this time and when you're available for an individual, free 20 minute initial phone / video consultation.  

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

 the courage to change the things I can, 

and the wisdom to know the difference.

- The Serenity Prayer